Life Without Living
by Life's-Not-Pretty
Summary: My version of Dougie and Frankie's break up. Involves Frankie cheating  I know she did'nt cheat but it makes it more dramatic  and Swearing.
1. How things used to be

I couldn't see it. I was blinded by love. I didn't see all the hints you gave me, trying to distance the space between us, I just pulled you closer. I thought we had a bond between us, one that couldn't be broken but you slowly destroyed it, secretly, without me knowing.

I thought you were the one. The one I was going to spend the rest of my life with, eventually have a family with. My Nan was always telling me "Your not getting any younger, Dougie" or "hurry up before those good looks are replaced by wrinkles". Always the charmer, my Nan. I remember the first time you met her, she walked up to me and hugged me and whispered in my ear "Grandkids" and winked at me. You seemed to like her though, she was telling you all the embarrassing things that happened to me since I was 2.

It didn't get any better when you met my mom either, bloody woman. She was showing you all my baby photos, strangely they were all the ones of me. As a baby. In the bath. Why does she even have those. What would possess a Mother to take pictures of their child in the bath?

We were so close back then, You used to walk into the studio just to say "hi" or bring me lunch when I forgot to bring some, I never asked you to do that, you just did. The guys used to moan at me in rehearsals when I wasn't paying attention because I was texting you, saying nothing important though, just texting to say "I Love You" or "I Miss You".

Why is it so different now? What has changed? What have I done? Did I do something to hurt you?

These are questions that will probably never be answered.


	2. Lost without you there

Frankie was staying in my flat, for a few months now. It was September sometime when things started falling apart. When she was slowly creating a wall between us.

Our album 'Above The Noise' was coming out soon so I was always coming home late or leaving early to meet the guys. She didn't seem that bothered if I was there or not.

"Mornin'" I said as I walked into the kitchen kissing her on the cheek. She never answered me anymore. _She's texting again, I bet she spends about £30 a week on that bloody phone. What could she possibly be saying that would be more interesting than speaking to me. Her boyfriend! _

"Frankie"

"hmmm?" She looked up at me. "oh, hi, I thought you was supposed to be at the studio today" _She doesn't look like she cares much, I'll be wasting my breath trying to make a conversation with her, but she might just be tired, she does care about me, right?_

"I am but we don't need to be there till 11 today, there's not much to do now" I smiled at her. "Wanna go and get a coffee, before I go?" I was trying to repair us, bring us closer again.

"um, ok, I have time but I need to be going at 10" Frankie stood up and went to get her bag.

_Gone by 10? What for?_

I grabbed my wallet, keys, and phone and waited by the door for her.

"Your not wearing that, are you?" She asked looking me up and as she walked out our bedroom.

"Why not? What's wrong with it?"

I was wearing ¾ jeans, with a very old Blink 182 top, converse and a denim jacket.

"Your going backwards, your not 16 again, Dougie" She rolled her eyes.

_Another thing she's been doing a lot lately, mostly at me._

"I'm getting coffee, not going on a runway, besides I miss this top" I said as I opened the door and let her out.

"hmm"

At the Coffee shop Frankie went to get us a table by the window as I ordered the coffee. Once I paid for it, I sat down opposite her.

"Here you go." I said passing her the drink.

"hmm" she was on her phone again.

"So, I was thinking." I took the phone off her, put it in my pocket and held her hands.

_I want to start a conversation with her, we hardly speak to each other anymore._

"Umm, excuse me.." I was interrupted by a small girl, looked about 7 years old, with long blonde hair in pigtails, wearing a pink dress and holding a notebook. She looked really embarrassed.

"Hello" I said smiling reassuringly.

"Hello, umm, Are you in McFLY?" She was looking down. Bless her, she was so nervous. I looked across at Frankie but she was looking outside the shop.

"Yes, I am, I'm the bass player" The girl smiled and giggled.

"Your Dougie! You're the funny one!" I laughed along with her. I love meeting fans that appreciate my sense of humour.

"can you sign my sign book?" She asked showing me her book.

"of course, what page would you like me to sign?" She giggled and ran up next to me.

"This one!" she said showing me a page with Danny's signature on.

"I see that Danny's signed it too" I said while signing it. She giggled.

"yep, he was in here earlier, with a blonde girl, she was pretty" She seemed to have relaxed and was able to speak to me easier. Once I finished signing it I passed it back to her. She smiled at me and looked across at Frankie.

"Excuse me, miss?" She was very polite for so young.

"hmm?" Frankie turned to look at her, but she looked bored but she could have been tired.

"Are you lovey dovey with Dougie?"

_I hope so._

"Um, yes"

"You are very lucky" The girl skipped off.

I laughed.

"You guys are all about the fans, aren't you?" Frankie looked at me.

"Of course, that's the best part of the job"

"hmmm, can I have my phone back?" I forgot that I took her phone off her, what was I going to say?

"Oh, right." I passed the phone back to her.

"You know tomorrow night? I finish early and I was wondering if you want to go out for dinner instead of always eating in, you must be bored of my pasta by now" I held her hands again, and smiled at her.

"tomorrow night, umm, ok I think I'm free" She smiled but she didn't look so happy.

"What's the time?" She started looking outside again.

_It feels like she don't even want to be here, but maybe I'm just being sensitive._

"10 why?"

"oh, I've got to go" She stood up and before I could object to anything she ran out the door.

I stand up and leave the shop, just walking anywhere to think, I've been doing this a lot lately, walking around aimlessly, thinking, mostly about Frankie, about how things used to be, I'm not completely oblivious, I know that we are becoming distant but I'm trying my hardest to change that but it's like she doesn't want to become close again. Before I knew it, it was 11 o clock. It started to rain so I sheltered myself under a nearby shop doorway that has closed down. My mobile went off. It was Harry.

"Hello?"

"Dougie where are you? Tom's going mad!"

"Umm" I looked around, _I don't have a clue where I am!_"I don't know"

"what do you mean you don't know! Have you been thinking again? What have I told you about thinking, your brain cant handle it!"

"Very Funny, oh, hang on I found a signpost!" I walked up to it, it read "Cross Avenue"

"A place called Cross Avenue, I think"

"Bloody Hell, Butty, your miles away, stay by the sign, I'll come get you!"

"Thanks, mate, see ya soon"

"ok, Don't move! I know what your like"

He put the phone down.

_I wonder where Frankie was right now, She's always running off when we are have 'us' time. I know I shouldn't be thinking like this, She cares for me, I know she does!, but I cant help it, should I ask the guys? No, they will think I'm just being paranoid, yeah, I'm probably being paranoid!_


	3. Wanna Lift?

I stood by the sign like he said for a good half hour, until he pulled up in front of me.

"Get in, Butty!" He looked angry, probably had to get me out of trouble with Tom, again. I got in without making any fuss, I know what Harry's like.

"Thanks, mate"

We didn't make much of a conversation on the way to the studio, I think Harry was concentrating on the road, you couldn't see much in this weather.

"Umm, Harry?" _I need a conversation, all I hear is the quiet, all the time._

"Yeah mate?"

"How's you and Izzy?" Izzy was Harry's girlfriend, they have been together for a few years and have a pretty tight relationship.

"Great! This weekend we are going for a weekend away, by the sea, you know, just for a break, She booked it, said I deserved a break after the album"

"That's sweet of her" _I wish me an Frankie were like them, they always seem happy when they are together, always looking forward to seeing each other after a long day_, _stop it Dougie, your paranoid!_

We arrived at the studio and Tom and Danny was waited for us, when I got out Tom must have given me the world largest death glare, seriously you could kill someone, it was that bad. Danny just ran up and hugged me!

"Butty, we thought you were in trouble!" _Idiot._

"Dan, c-can't b-b-breath" He released me, still grinning wildly.

"Sorry mate-"

Tom was abut to say something but was cut off by Danny literally jumping on me.

"- But I missed you!"

"Dan, Dan, Get Off!" _He doesn't usually at like this, maybe he can tell that I'm not up for it today, or he just wants to annoy me, yeah, he just wants to annoy me._

We were having a break and I went to sit outside the fire exit, on a step, I just wanted some fresh air, I had a can of Pepsi and a packet of crisps.

_I wonder what Frankie is doing now, should I text her? Call her? _

I sent her a text saying: Hi, I miss you, almost done for the day, what you up too?

_Will she text back? _I let out a sigh. _Probably not._

"Hey" I never heard Dan walk up to me and sit next to me.

"Hi"

We never spoke we were just enjoying each others company.

"Are you alright, mate?"

_I knew it, he noticed something. Its always him that notices everything._

"fine"

Danny laughed.

_Why the bloody hell is he laughing!_

"Dougs, I've known you for, How many years has it been?"

_Haha, idiot._

"7, Dan!" I laughed.

"7 years! Bloody hell, I thought you guys would have gotten rid of my by now!"

"McFLY would be boring without you, I mean, who wants to get through a whole song without mistakes? Where's the fun in that?"

He laughed and ruffled my hair.

"I've missed your sarcasm"

"What you mean?" _Does he notice something that fast?_

"Don't play stupid, you usually find a way to annoy me or laugh at but you've been quiet all day"

"I'm just tired"

_It wasn't entirely a lie, we have been in the studio for a long time and usually don't finish until late._

"Also ever since the band first started, when you were angry or upset you always sit outside, I remember that time in the Band House when Harry lost your favourite Guitar Pick and you flipped out and went to sit outside in the front garden"_I don't even remember that happening, does he remember everything that happens with us?_

"I don't remember"

"Really? Oh" Danny looked down looking a bit embarrassed so I offered him a crisp and we sat there looking outside sharing my crisps.

"So" Danny looked at me.

_I thought he forgot all about his question. Damn. Quick Dougie make an excuse._

"Is Frankie picking you up after the studio?"

_Phew. False Alarm._

"umm, dunno, ill text her"

I sent her a text saying: Hey, just wondering if your picking me up, don't worry if your not, ill get the bus home, love you, see you soon xx

Once I sent the text I put my phone back in my pocket and smiled at Danny who was looking at me weirdly.

"What?"

"nothing, come on, I think I hear Tom calling us." He stood up and gave me a hand and pulled me up.

A few hours later and still no reply from Frankie. _No surprise there. _

Tom walked over to me.

"Hey, mate"

I smiled at him.

"The album is just about finished, Dan and Harry were wondering if you wanna go out for a drink in celebration?"

My phone went off. _Saved!_

It was off Frankie: Ok, be there soon.

"Sorry mate, Frankie should be here about now, maybe another time."

"No probs, but remember, the day after tomorrow we have a photoshoot for a magazine called Attitude"

Tom patted me on the shoulder and walked off to Danny. I said my goodbyes and went to stand outside for Frankie. It was raining pretty badly. _I hope Frankie is ok in this weather._

I waited for about an hour and still no sign of Frankie. _The guys haven't come out of the studio yet so I guess they weren't done after all but I can hear them laughing from out here. Where is she? Has she forgotten about me? Should I call her?_

"You alrigh' mate?" It was Danny. He walked up to me. "Your soaked"

I never realised that I had been standing in the rain for an hour.

"Umm, yeah"

"I thought Frankie was picking you up" He looked around.

"She will be here in a bit" I didn't sound so convincing.

"ok, mate" He tapped my arm and walked away.

_Argh, where is she? That's it I'm going to have to call her!_

I took out my phone and dialled her number.

I counted the rings. I got to about 10 when she answered.

"hey" _There's music playing in the background, where is she?_

"Frankie, Where are you?"

"Club" _She sounds weird, is she drunk?_

"I thought you was picking me up"

"oh, right, yeah, you" She giggled.

"Yeah, Me! Are you drunk?"She giggled again.

"You are, aren't you?"

"Oh, stop being a moody pants, come join me"

"I would but I don't have a ride! I cant believe you went and gotten drunk in a club, I'm Bloody Soaked waiting for you!"

No answer.

"Frankie? Frankie!"

_How dare she put the phone down on me!_

I threw the phone on the floor.

"Wow, mate"

_Shit! How long was Danny standing behind me? I hope he didn't hear everything._

Danny picked up the phone and checked that it was still working, then passed it to me.

"Thanks" I mumbled. Dan smiled.

"Wanna lift?" He pointed to his car.

"thanks"

Danny said goodbye to Tom and Harry, and we drove off, after about 10 minutes of silence, Danny started a conversation.

"So why didn't Frankie pick you up?"

"club" I looked out the window.

"again?"

"yeah, she goes out a lot." I still didn't look at him.

"no worries mate" He patted my leg and smiled at me. I smiled back.

"Eww, your drenched!"

I laughed at his disgusted face. He wiped his wet hand on my face.

"Get lost, Danny!"

"No worries, I do that a lot" I burst out laughing. _I'm so lucky I have the guys to cheer me up, I almost don't mind going home._

It was dark by the time Danny pulled up outside my house, none of the lights were turned on.

"Looks like Frankie isn't home yet" I said as I took off my seatbelt.

"At least you can watch Jurassic Park in peace" Danny said trying to cheer me up.

"haha, true, until Frankie falls in, that is"

_I don't like drunks, never have, I know I get drunk sometimes but it doesn't mean I like it when I do._

"Well, ill see you the day after tomorrow" I said as I got out the car.

"eh?"

"We have a photoshoot, remember?"

"oh, right" He smiled.

"Thanks for the lift, see you later" I waved him off and walked into my house.

I sat watching the TV for a few hours, Frankie still wasn't back yet. I looked at the clock. 2:13am.

_Where is she? Has something happened? Is she still drinking?_

I decided to call her again.

"Hello?"

"Frankie, where are you? Its 2:15 in the morning!"

"Mates house, I'm staying here the night" _Tell me then!_

"Why didn't you tell me? I've been worried!"

_I swear I just heard a man's voice in the background!_

"Who's house are you at?"

Silence.

"Frankie, who's house are you at?"

"Una's" _I can hear a man's voice again!_

"Why can I hear a man's voice?"

"god's sake Dougie, chill out, it's her brother!" _Una has a brother?_

She put the phone down on me again.

_I didn't know Una had a brother. She never mentioned her brother before_.

My phone went off for a text.

It was from Tom: Hi mate, sorry for the late text, Change of plan, photoshoot's tomorrow morning, see you then :-)

_Shit! I was supposed to go out with Frankie, oh well she can wait, like I had to._


	4. Attitude

I woken up at precisely 5:48 this morning, yep, Five bloody forty eight in the bloody morning. I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a cup of tea and went to watch some TV. I checked my phone and I have 2 new messages, one off Frankie and one off Danny.

Frankie: Hey love, can't make tomorrow's date, meeting xx

_Huh, shock._

Danny: Hey mate, just checking your ok and that no walls have been punched ;-), Is Frankie home?

_When was this sent? _5:30am. _I should text him to make sure he knows the change of date._

I wrote: Ha, no walls punched yet, never no though. Frankie is staying a Una's for the night. Has Tom told you about the change of date?

I waited for a few minutes until I got a reply.

Danny: yea, Today right? Wanna lift there?

_Trust Dan, to make sure he got the right date._

I text him back: Yeah its today, yeah ok if you don't mind. Thanks see you then.

I closed my phone and watched the TV for a few hours, When I say a few hours I mean from 6am until 9am, Viva had a South Park marathon.

I went for a shower and got ready for Danny to pick me up. At 10am I heard a car beep from outside. I looked outside. It was Danny.

I grabbed my jacket and ran to his car.

"Couldn't you have just knocked?" I asked as I got into the car.

"Too early" He said as we drove off. I laughed.

When we got to the photo shoot Tom and Harry were waiting for us, looking a bit uncomfortable.

"What's up with you two?" I asked looking at Harry.

"We have been told what Attitude magazine is about" Harry said.

_Huh._

"What is it?"

"A gay Magazine"

"Shouldn't you have already known that, Harry?" Danny said smirking.

"Fuck you!"

Harry started chasing Danny around the car park. Me and Tom laughed.

"Tom?"

"yeah?"

"what's wrong with it being a gay magazine?"

"we will be naked in a swimming pool."

_I wish I never asked._

"huh? What was that?" Danny and Harry asked as they ran over to us panting.

"We will be in a swimming pool, naked." Tom answered.

"Yes!" Danny shouted.

Me and Tom gave him strange looks.

"what? I've always wondered what it would feel like to be naked in a swimming pool"

_I worry about that boy sometimes._

We went inside and the guy in charge of the Photo Shoot was waiting for us.

"Well, Hello Boys"

_Oh, God, this is going to be embarrassing!_

"I'm Charles, and I will be the photographer in charge of the shoot now if you could please strip off and we can get started"

_Too Cheerful, is he checking out Harry? _

We walked into the changing area, away from the freaky photographer who was checking out Harry's arse.

"Umm, Harry, the photographer was checking out your arse"

"What!"

"oooo, Harry has an admirer" Danny said smiling as he walked passed.

"I don't think that is the kind of attention Harry was looking for, Dan" Tom said getting undressed.

Once we all got undressed we put on a dressing gown on walked out the room.

"Oh, good, I thought you ran off" Charles said rubbing his hands together.

"Let's get started shall we"

He took us to a massive indoor pool with his camera set up and benches by it.

"Right then, now first I want, Danny is it?" He looked at Dan who was staring at the pool looking excited.

"Yep, that's me"

"Great. I want you to be swimming forwards and backwards for a while and you three to be standing at the side watching him, ok?"

_Great, now we have to watch Dan, swimming, Naked! I swear this dude is doing it to annoy us!_

"Wait, what?" Dan asked.

"hm?"

"They are going to watch me swim naked?"

_Thank you, Dan! He sees sense!_

"why? Oh, I get it, your not comfortable with your body?"

_Shit! Dan's not going to be happy about that!_

"no, I'm fine with it, I just done like the idea of the guy's staring at little Dan while I swim, if you know what I mean"

_Oh, My, God, Little Dan, He's Brilliant!_

"Dan, just do it!" Tom said taking off the dressing gown and getting into the pool. Danny glared at Tom but still got into the pool. Harry got in as well.

"Come on Dougs, Stop checking me out!" Danny said laughing.

I made a rude hand gesture and got into the pool.

The next few hours didn't go so fast, once he made Dan swim back he did it to all of us. He must of made us swim back and forwards about 20 times each. I was shattered! Once we got out of the pool we had to sit on the bench with out backs to the camera while he took photos of us. My arse is now famous. We then had to group around this box while making angry faces, but it's not over yet he decides to take photos of us in the shower! Me and Dan had a laugh spraying each other though so it wasn't all bad, I guess.

Once we finished we went to get dried in the changing rooms.

"That dude is mental!" Harry complained.

"I know I'm shattered" I said getting my shirt on.

"At least, it's over"

"yeah, if we were there any longer I think he would of jumped on you, Harry" Danny said drying his hair. Harry glared.

"So, what you guys up to this weekend?" Tom asked obviously trying to change the subject.

"Going for a weekend away" Harry said through gritted teeth.

"probably will go gym" Danny said styling his hair.

"Shopping, probably, the new Assassin's Creed is out today so I will be playing that" I said smiling.

"Cool, ill go with you! I Wanna get Lego Pirates of the Caribbean" Tom said smiling.

Just then my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, babe!" _Frankie._

"oh, Hey, Frankie" Danny looked at me.

"Hey, I'm sorry about our date, Meeting was boring"

"no problem"

"Where are you? I came home and you wasn't here!"

"Photo Shoot for a magazine, I can't remember what it's called though"

"oh, ok. Be home soon, love ya, bye!"

She put the phone down.

"wanna lift home?" Danny asked smiling at me.

"please." I mumbled quietly.

We walked out of the changing room and Charles was on the phone. He put the phone down and turned to us.

"Good news boys, the next magazine will be out tomorrow! And your on the cover!"

_Great, my arse is made public!_

"that's great Charles, and thanks for your time today" Tom said shaking Charles' hand.

"no problem, great meeting you four"

We said our goodbyes and Me and Dan got into his car and drove off. On the drive home I noticed Danny kept on giving me glances.

"Ok, what's up?" he asked.

"nothing"

"don't start this again, Dougie, I'm your mate, Ex-housemate, band mate, your pretty much my brother, you can trust me." I smiled.

"you'll think I'm being paranoid"

"no I wont, its bugging you!"

"ok, I have a question first before I tell you, Does Una have a brother?"

"Una, as in The Saturday's, not that I know of, why?"

_She was lying to me! Why would she do that?_

"Last night I was on the phone to Frankie and I heard a man's voice in the background, I asked her about it and she said it was Una's brother."

I had tears in my eyes.

"You sure she said brother, not friend or dad"

"could have been, probably me being paranoid"

We pulled up outside my house.

"Thanks Dan"

"no problem, but listen Dougs, Look after yourself, you know, just in case" He smiled.

"Don't worry, Dan, you'll be the first I come to" I smiled back and walked off to my house.

Once I walked into my house I found Frankie doing her makeup in my downstairs mirror.

"Hey love, what are you doing?"

"oh, hi, The girls invited me to a girls night out"

"what? Your going out again?"

_She's out every night!_

"Umm, yeah, so?"

"Well, I thought we could spend the night together, watching Jurassic Park like we used to"

"Dougie, I don't care about Jurassic Park! Never have, never will!"

She walked out.

_She told me she loved that film. What else has she lied to me about? Her love for me?_

I sat down on at the dining room table, feeling alone, again. I've been getting that feeling a lot lately. Loneliness.

My mobile started ringing. Danny.

"Hey!" he shouted.

"No need to shout, Dan"

"just checking your alright"

"She's gone out for a girls night out"

"bloody hell, she cant be tamed!"

"Dan!"

"sorry"

"it's fine, I'm ok on my own"

"Dougs, you hate being on your own, oh, one minute, be right back"

About 15 minutes after, i was about to put the phone down when he had a knock at the door. He opened it to find Danny.

"Dan, What the Hell?"

"Frankie is having a girls night out, so, we are having a Boy's night in!" He said smiling. I laughed and let him in.

"Ok so Jaws or Marley and Me?" He showed me the covers.

"umm, Jaws!" He smiled at me.

"Ok and I have brought peanut M&M's and this!" He took out a pizza menu and gave it to me.

"what do you want me to do with this?" Danny walked passed me and sat on the sofa, resting his feet on my coffee table.

"Order pizza, of course, we can't eat the menu, can we?"

"You want me to pay for a pizza!"

"Yeah, I can't, I'm the guest, that's being rude, Dougie"

"Git"

I walked out the room and ordered the pizza, by the time I came back Danny had turned the movie on and was already half way through the M&M's.

"Dan, save some for me!"

I sat down next to him.

"Oops, Sorry, Mate, I Haven't eaten yet" He smiled at me and passed me the M&M's.

We watched the film for another 15 minutes until the pizza man came. I payed for it and sat next to Danny again.

"Here we are, mate, Pizza so now you can save the last of the M&M's" He smiled at me.

We finished the pizza in under 10 minutes, I looked at the clock, it was 1:33am. I looked across at Danny and he was falling asleep.

"Hey, Dan"

"Hmm? Leave me alone, sleepy"

"Dan! Get up"

"ok, ok, better get going Dougs, Georgia will be worried, Thanks for letting me in and for buying pizza"

I turned off the DVD and gave it to him, I opened my front door and let Dan out.

"See ya later, Dougs, Call me if you need anything" He smiled as he walked down my drive. I shut the door and went straight to bed, leaving the living room a mess.


	5. Roses are Red, Voilets are Blue

I woken up at around 10:30am, which is normally my usual time, to the sound of Frankie moaning downstairs. I got dressed and went downstairs.

"Mornin'"

"Don't Mornin me, Mr Poynter, What is with this place?"

I looked around, there was cans of Pepsi lying around, a Pizza box on the floor, and M&M's everywhere.

"Oh, Dan came over last night""Noticed, every time he comes round, this place is a mess"

"Hey, I was gonna clean it up, it's my responsibility, don't blame Dan"

"You never told me you were having company"

"Why should I? this is my house!"

"Don't you even think about shouting at me!"

"Who do you think you are, my mother?"

"Looks like you need one, you can't even clean up after yourself"

"Whatever, I'm going shopping with Tom today, so I better get ready""Your leaving me?"

"Like how you left me these past few days? Yeah"

I went upstairs and Brushed my teeth and hair, walked out the house and slammed the door.

_How dare she think that she is the boss of me! I have been left on my own more times than I remember and she is moaning at me for going out once! Who does she think she is? Its my house so I should be able to do what the hell I want to! "Mr Poynter" my arse! Seriously she sounds like my Mother, I already have one I don't need another one!_

I met up with Tom outside a Bank in the town, he was facing the other way so I crept up behind him and jumped on his back.

"SURPRISE!" I shouted.

"Ahhhhhh!"

I got off him and he faced me.

"Bloody hell, Butty, Give me a heart attack, why don't ya!" I laughed.

"Come on, I want my game"

We walked around the shops and I bought my Game, A new jacket, Jeans, A new AMAZING top that says 'Life Sucks, Deal with it' and Tom bought his Game and some new converse. Once we finished shopping we sat down in a café. Tom ordered our drinks and sat opposite me.

"Thanks for coming with me, Mate, It was nice, just the two of us." I said smiling.

"yeah, it was nice, How was your night?, you look a bit annoyed, when we met up"

"Fine, Dan turned up and we had a movie night." Tom laughed.

"Yeah, he does just randomly turn up, did he bring a pizza menu?"

"Strangely enough, yeah"

We laughed.

"he means well though" Tom said.

"Yeah, always knows when we're not happy."

"Me and Harry went bowling, last night, we were gonna invite you guys but you didn't seem in the mood."

"No worries, who won?"

"Harry, bloody git, being good at everything" I laughed.

We finished our drinks and we left the café, we had a walk around, not buying anything just looking. We were on our way home when my phone started ringing. We stopped walking and I answered it. Frankie.

"Hello?"

"Dougie, where the hell are you?"

_Here we go!_

"Out with Tom" Tom looked at me curiously. I smiled at him reassuringly.

"Well, Hurry up!"

"Why?"

"Because I want to go out but I've lost my keys"

"Fine, on my way home"

"Hurry!"

She put the phone down.

"I've lost my keys, you've got to hurry, she's only nice when she wants something" I muttered quietly.

"You alright, mate?" Tom asked when I started walking.

"Fine, but I need to get home quickly" I smiled and started to run.

"Dougie! Wait!"

I laughed. "Come on, Tom!"

"Slow Down!"

We got to my place in about 10 minutes when I ran, I never knew I could run so quickly. Tom wasn't that far behind but he was panting.

"Since when…did…..you run…..so fast?" He was panting at fell on the floor by my feet.

I laughed at him.

My front door burst open and Frankie walked out holding what looked like a magazine. _Shit!_

"Dougie Lee Poynter!" Tom looked up and stood quickly.

"See you, mate" He walked down the street to his house, he only lived down the road so it wasn't far. Frankie stormed up to me.

"What in the world is this?" She showed me our issue of Attitude. _She found it then. Where did she get it from?_

"Well, love, that appears to be a magazine" I smiled at her. _Bad answer, Never try to lighten a situation when Frankie is involved!_

"Don't play funny with me, this is serious!"

"Can't we have this talk in the house" I looked around, Mrs Norberry, our next door neighbour, was looking out her front window. She waved at me. I pushed Frankie into the house and slammed the door.

"Who do you think you are!" She shouted at me.

"It was the photo shoot from yesterday, remember, I told you about it!"

"I didn't know that you were going to have pictures in your bloody underwear!"

"Actually we were naked" I muttered looking down so I couldn't see the glare she was giving me.

"I mean what is with that picture!" she showed me the picture of us sitting on the bench.

"Its not so bad, you have a nice view of my arse" I smiled at her, she didn't seem very amused.

"Why can't you four have a normal photo shoot where your not either naked or making weird faces!" _What weird faces? _

"We take our photo shoots very seriously, thank you very much!" I folded my arms in a 'thank-you-very-much' way.

"hmm, sure, well I'm off, can I have the keys? What the bloody hell have you bought?" She looked down at my bags from shopping today.

"Stuff" I shrugged.

"What's with this crap?

She took the bags off me and took out the top which says "Life Sucks, Deal with it"

"Oh does it suck? Does it suck because I'm with you?"

"No!"

_I can't believe she was accusing me of hating her!_

"Why would I hate you?"

"Well you just left me this morning!"

"Oh yeah, Like you have for the past week"

I was about to apologise but before I knew it, she left the house.

I was left standing there in the silence.

_What just happened? Why would she accuse me of that? What have I done? She never looked that angry with me before, never, Not even this morning when the house was a Pig Sty. _

I felt it. The Tears. I didn't have time to stop them.

_Come on Dougie, Be a man, your 23, for fucks sake! You need to stop and grow up. Everything will go back to normal tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day!_

I walked into the living room and turned on 4Music.

_Hey, guys! Lets get the latest Celeb gossip! The latest seems to be all our lovely boys from the British Pop band McFLY. McFLY's Tom Fletcher will be working with the gorgeous Bad Boy Wizard Tom Felton on his debut album. It's gonna be Magical!_

I laughed.

_They find out this stuff quickly!_

_There seems to be a bit of sneaking around with the beautiful Frankie Sandford from The Saturdays._

I sat up.

_What?_

_Recent reports showed us that 2 days ago Frankie was seen sneaking in a Club in London with none other than English footballer Wayne Bridge. The two were seen entering the club at around 11am and didn't leave until late that night._

_The two were then seen out together yesterday, looking very snug together in the city,_

_No reports yet about Dougie knowing about these sneaky meetings._

I sat there staring at the images of the two on the screen.

_She seems happy. Too happy. They do look snug together. She hasn't smiled at me like that at me for months. Is that where she is now? With him? Who the bloody hell is he anyway?_

_McFLY's Fifth album will be released later this month._

I turn off the TV and threw the remote across the room. I took out my phone and put it onto create a message a single tear landed on the screen.

I wiped it off and wrote: How do you know when your relationship will last? I'm not sure anymore.

I sent it to Danny.

I waited a few minutes, staring at the wall. I didn't even try to stop the tears. I didn't try to cry quietly anymore. What was the point? No one cared.

_How could she do this to me? After everything we have been through. These past few years we have been together. _

My phone vibrated. 1 message off Danny.

Danny: I'll tell you when I find out. I don't think that I'm the right person to ask that to if I'm honest.

_True. Danny has his heartbroken many times. More than me, but here I am crying like a 10 year old._

I lost it. I stood up and walked over the photos of me and Frankie on our last holiday together, I picked one up. I threw up a wall and watched the glass shatter into tiny pieces like my heart.

I stormed up the stairs into our bedroom. Opened my bedside cupboard to find the valentines day cards she gave me the last few years.

One read:

_Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,_

_I've never experienced a love so true._

"You Liar!" I screamed at the top of my voice. Tears were streaming down my face. I had that feeling like I was chocking on my own tears. My heart felt like it was being ripped out. I hated her.

I knew I was making myself worse but I couldn't stop I kept reading the cards she gave me. Not just valentine cards either, these last few years she has sent me Birthday cards with little poems in them. She knew how to play me.

Another one read:

_Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,_

_It's you and me together…..a lifetime of love, just for two_

"How longs a lifetime?" I whispered.

A birthday card read:

_I never knew about happiness;_

_I didn't think dreams came true;_

_I couldn't believe in love,_

_Until finally I met you_

I remember when I read that card, I was in tears of happiness. I knew I found the one. I _thought _I found the one. I was stupid. A idiot. So gullible.

I heard the front door slam. She was back.

"Dougie, Where are you?"

I walked down the stairs slowly. I had red eyes and my cheeks were tear stained. I must of looked like someone from a horror film.

"Dougie, why's our photo framed smashed?" She looked at me and gasped. _Do I look that bad?_

"I know" She tried to look innocent. She was messing with me again. I'm not falling for that again.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't like being messed with Frankie" She looked nervous.

"Dougie, have you been have those weird dreams again? Come on, ill make us some tea" She started to walk into the kitchen put I grabbed her arm.

"Wayne Bridge" She looked at me shocked.

She looked away.

"How did you find out?" _It was true. She wasn't denying it. Why wasn't she denying it? _

"Photographers, 4music shown us pictures of you two entering a club-" I paused. I was breaking down again. "-together"

She smiled. _Why was she smiling? I thought she cared about me._

"Why?" I whispered, Frankie only just about heard me. She broke out of my grasp and turned to face me looking annoyed at the question.

"Why? All you ever talk about is McFLY this, and McFLY that. I don't care! You know what Harry did today? Or Tom did this hilarious thing! I don't give a shit about those 3, You were supposed to be with me, You never care about anything other than them!"

_How can she say that! For the passed month she was the only thing on my mind._

"How can you say that! I Love you, I have since you were 15! You're the only one I have ever loved!" I never realised I was shouting. Tears were coming down my face again. She just stood there.

"You never come out with me anymore. All you do is spend your time in the studio!"

"All you do is spend your time in a club, drinking yourself stupid, with _Wayne!_"

"Jealous?" She folded her arms.

"Oh, I dunno, You're my girlfriend, of course!" _She's an idiot!_

"Not anymore"

"What? Frankie, Frankie!" She stormed upstairs and started to pack her bags. I watched her pack, literally throwing her stuff into a bag.

"It would never have worked out" She said.

"Not when you cheat on me with a footballer, why him?"

"You don't know who he is, you don't watch football" She said simply walking passed me.

I grabbed her arm again.

"I Love You" I whispered to her, tears in my eyes. She shrugged me off and walked out the house slamming the door.

I was alone once more, with nothing to live for.


	6. Here for you

It's been 7 days since Frankie left me and news has already got out about the split. It's everywhere. I can't watch the music channel because I'm scared about what it might say. Yesterday I got a free newspaper come through my letterbox and Frankie and Me were on the cover. I don't go on the internet in case of Yahoo! News says anything. If I see her I think I might breakdown, my heart cant take it anymore. I haven't seen or heard from the guys. Danny tried to call me yesterday but I cant answer him, I cant speak to anyone right now.

There was I knock on the door. I walked up to my door. I cant open it. I cant physically turn the handle, something was stopping me, I feel like if I open the door I might fall into whoever's arms are there and sob onto their chests.

"Dougie?" _Tom._

"Dougie, I know your there, please speak to me, we are here for you"

_Please don't say that, I don't need anyone, I need to get over this myself, I need to be a man._

"I need to be a man" I said through the door, my voice sounded croaky.

"Dougs, mate, you are a man, please speak to us" _Us? _

"Butty" _Harry too?_

"Mate, we miss you, we need someone to annoy"

"Dan!" Tom shouted.

I laughed slightly. Slowly, I opened the door, and Tom, Dan, and Harry smiled at me. I let them in.

"Dude, this place is a sty!" Danny said starting to clean up all the cans of coke and empty cigarette packets. _I knew what they were doing, they were trying to bring back the old me, cleaning up my place, it was like the old days, they are like my older brothers, wanting to protect me._

Once they cleaned up Tom went up to Our-I mean-my room and took down my old suitcase and started to put my clothes in.

"W-w-what are you doing?" I still felt like crying all the time, the chocking feel wouldn't go.

"Packing" He said simply.

"Why?"

"Your living with me for a while-" He looked at my uneasy face. "-until your able to look after yourself again"

_I can look at myself perfectly, thank you very much!_

"I can look after myself" I said snatching my top back that he was holding.

"Not from what I can see downstairs, you aren't ready to live on your own again" He said taking the top back and putting it into the case. He zipped it up and took it downstairs. I followed him.

Danny and Harry had finished tidying up by the time I got downstairs and were waiting for us by the door.

"Dougs, I will put your case in the car, we have the stuff you need put you can pack stuff like games and entertainment stuff. You don't know how long you will be at mine."

I looked at him oddly.

"I don't want you coming back here for awhile." He said simply.

I nodded and went into my living room. Danny followed.

I looked at him.

"Tom asked me to help you" He looked like he was trying to watch what he says, and to move cautiously, like he thinks I will breakdown any second. _Which is probably true._

I picked up a few DVD's I wanted to bring like Jurassic Park, Marley and Me, Jaws and Final Fantasy: Advent children. Danny took them off me and put them into a plastic bag, we didn't speak, I don't think we knew what to say.

I went over to my game rack, I don't know if Tom had a PS3.

"umm, D-D-oes Tom have a PS3?" I couldn't remember, my mind isn't working much anymore, if it does I just end up giving myself a headache, I can't think straight.

"Yeah, I think he does" Danny answered quietly, I think he understood how I felt.

I nodded and picked up Assassin's creed 1 and 2, Grand Theft Auto 4 and Final fantasy 13. I stood there for a minute thinking if I needed to bring anything else.

_Oh, my phone and Ipod!_

I walked up the stairs and signalled Danny to wait down here for me. He nodded and I ran up my stairs.

I looked around the room, Our-I mean-my room.

_I never wanted you to leave, we were supposed to be together, Forever. Just before you left I said I Love You, but you just left me. Standing in this exact spot where I am now. The guys want me out of this house. They think that it's the best thing for me, but they are wrong. What if she comes back for me and I'm not here? Would she even come back?_

I picked up my phone and my Ipod, I was about to switch off my light when something caught my eye. A Photo. I walked over to it. It was of Me and The guys the day I moved into the band house, the day we were complete. It is my favourite picture of us because I remember how nervous I was when my mom parked up outside the house. How Tom helped me unpack and how Harry was freaking out about my lizards. Good times!

I picked up the photo and walked down the stairs where Danny was waiting for me.

"Hey, mate, what's this?" He said as I handed him the frame to put in the bag. "Hey, I remember, this is the day you came to the band house!"

I nodded shyly.

"You still have this picture?" He raised his eyebrows.

"means a lot to me" I whispered then walked out my house I waited for Danny to walk out my house and then I locked the door.


	7. Restless Night

We walked down the road to Tom's house in silence. I didn't feel like talking. I never did anymore. I'm not me anymore. Just an empty shell. She completed me and not she left me, left me for a Footballer. How embarrassing! Ok so I'm not as fit as him, not as athletic as him, not built up like him, I don't dress as smart as him. I could have changed, I would have changed for her!

"Dougie, Dougie, Dougie!" I never realised that Tom was calling me.

"Huh?"

"You will be staying in the guest bedroom, is that ok?" Tom was also acting cautiously with me.

I nodded.

Tom walked me up to the guest bedroom. It had white wallpaper with small roses printed onto it. There was a single bed in the far left corner, a wardrobe in the far left with a chest of drawers next to it, a TV on the wall opposite my bed and a desk In front of it.

"It's not much but it's ok for now, we can go shopping for more furniture, one day if you want?"

"It's fine" I whispered. Tom nodded and looked around.

"we can redecorate, as well if you want. Isn't really your kind of thing is it?" He laughed and I laughed slightly.

I walked over to my bed and started to unpack my things into chest of drawers and into the wardrobe.

"hey, I have an idea, why don't we go shopping for posters?" I understand that he was trying to help but I really just want to be alone, but he seemed so into it and I know he means well. He did let me stay here after all.

I nodded.

"ok, meet me downstairs when your done" He smiled and went downstairs.

I stayed upstairs longer than necessary but Tom didn't seem to mind I got my wallet and went downstairs, he must have seen me put my wallet in my pocket.

"No, I'm paying today. My treat" _Now I do feel bad, I'm just making things worse for everyone!_

_I'm a screw up in life, the once no one needs, the leftovers of perfect people._

We got into his car and he drove out of this drive.

"So, Dougs what posters do you want in your room?" He was trying to make me speak as much as possible.

"umm, I don't know, Blink 182" Tom smiled.

"should of guessed, really" I attempted a smile.

"Wanna eat out tonight?"

I shrugged.

We went round different shops to look for posters, I found a few Blink 182 ones and a really cool lizard one. I think Tom knew that I wanted to go home so he said we can order a pizza or something at his place. Once we got back to his place we went upstairs to put up my posters. It was pretty funny actually because Tom had to stand on my desk to put them where he wanted but he fell off and landed on his arse.

"It's not funny, it bloody hurts"

I kept on laughing, its been a while since I had a good laugh so Tom didn't mind. After we put up the posters Tom went out and got the pizza while I stayed in the house. I didn't feel like going out again but Tom didn't mind.

While I was waiting for him I stayed upstairs and played my bass. Tom's girlfriend Giovanna came in to check on me a few times. _Bless her! _She came in to listen to me, I think she feels that I can't be trusted on my own. _True though, there probably wont be anything left in one piece. _

That night I didn't sleep very well, I kept thinking about Frankie.

_How long was so cheating on me? _

_Did the rest of The Saturday's know that she was?_

_Did the guys know?_

_What about Gio, Izzy and Georgia, Did they know?_

These are the questions I think about every night, all night.


	8. What's best for you

It's been two weeks since I started to live with Tom and Gio, things haven't been much better. I have been staying in my room and only coming out when I need to use the bathroom or when I was hungry. I tried to avoid interaction with people as much as possible. I haven't shaved since Frankie broke up with me, and I haven't cut my hair since then either. My hair looks a mess. I don't leave the house either. I know I'm making the guys and my family worry but I can't bring myself to speak to them. I wouldn't know what to say.

I know they can hear me cry at night and when I play my bass its always songs that I have made up in my head. In our new album 'Above The Noise' there is this song called That's The Truth. It reminds me of Frankie so much, there is this rumour that the song is about her but Tom confirmed that it's a coincidence.

This morning I was up at 5:38am crying, I went downstairs to get a drink. Tom was there at the table.

"Hey" he said softly.

I nodded at him. I was about to go to the fridge.

"Dougie, I need to talk to you" He motioned me to sit opposite him. I did as I was told.

"Your not getting any better are you?" I looked away.

_I knew this was coming! Should I leg it? Walk out? Pack?_

"Me and the guys have been thinking and-" He paused to look me in the eyes "-We think you need to take some time out"

_Time out? What does he mean? He doesn't mean…No…he can't mean that, can he?_

"Time Out?" I croaked.

He nodded.

"We think you should have time out-" He paused again, breaking eye contact with me "-In rehab"

"Rehab?" I whispered.


End file.
